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Literature by outRAGEousConcepts

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Submitted on
February 3, 2011
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1. Study Finds Sentences Contain Actual Words!
YES: This is a beautiful picture. You did an excellent job!
NO: OMG!! sooo pwetty!
You can only get away with this if your name happens to be Elmer Fudd. If your name is Elmer Fudd, go back to hunting wabbits; you're not much more successful as an author.

2. If I say "thank you," the appropriate response is "you're welcome," NOT "your welcome." Please stop making this mistake. Your grammar is the reason I drink.

3. Most web-browsers come with a built-in spell check. If you post a misspelled word (especially in a comment), you really weren't paying attention to what you said at all, and it probably would have been better for you to stay silent. (See 9.)

4. If you're going to use emoticons, you can just as easily use the deviantART emoticons. If you don't know the commands for some of the more original ones, find a friend's profile and click on "Send a Note." Down at the bottom right hand corner of the new message box, there's a link that says "Emoticon Legend." Here you can find the text commands for every emoticon authorized by dA. There are enough for you to hold entire conversations with, so don't be shy! I'm tired of having to turn my head sideways to understand you.

5. When referring to yourself, you must capitalize the pronoun "I." This also includes saying "I'm," "I've," "I'd," and "I'll." Please also remember your apostrophes. Otherwise, im afraid ill have to hurt you (see how stupid that looks?)

6. If you're leaving a quick comment, you don't necessarily have to capitalize the first letter of each sentence; just be sure to leave a period so we know where one thought stops and the next one begins. But if you're submitting actual literature, please capitalize! It makes your work look more thought out and serious and less like the random brain farts of a twelve year old girl.

7. "Though" is not hard to type. It only takes three fingers total (on a standard QWERTY keyboard), so you're not really saving any extra effort by typing "tho" (which also takes three fingers.) And on the plus side, you appear to know basic English, even if you're just faking it!

8. "LOL." I have nothing to say about this. If you want to use it, go ahead. But be warned: capitalizing it doesn't prove your point any more than leaving it in lower case. It just makes you look like a dumbass.

9. If you don't have anything to say, it's better not to say anything. Sometimes a ":+fav:" says more than a comment ever could. "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."   –Mark Twain

10. "Awesome" is an overused term. How about something a little more original, like "grand," "breathtaking," "splendid," "tremendous," "remarkable," "amazing," "awe-inspiring," "astounding," or "humbling"? A personal favorite of mine is "shiny." Be creative! Or use a thesaurus; they're basically the same thing. SPECIAL NOTE: "Awesomeness," while technically a word, is even worse than "awesome."

11. Spell "like" appropriately! Unless you're one of those f***ing cats, it should not be spelled "liek dis!"

12. "Let's eat Mom." "Let's eat, Mom." Commas are here for your protection. Use them wisely.

13. Please take the extra half-second to type out "you" and not "u." This also applies to "are" versus "r." It was cute when you were four, but if you're old enough to use the Internet, you're old enough to use big-kid words.

14. English has only one definite article: "the." This makes it the most commonly used word in the language. You have no excuse for typing "teh" instead of "the." It's not cute, it's moronic.

15. If you did it correctly once, you can do it correctly again. If you want to use five exclamation points (when one would probably work fine), then make sure they all get in there. Typing "cool!!111" just makes it look like you don't know how to use a keyboard.

16. It's "must've" (a contraction of "must have") NOT "must of." Come on people, that doesn't even make any sense!

17. May whatever God you pray to help you if you write "uv."

Americans (and our English friends across the pond), when we can't even be bothered to write our own language properly, the other people of the world laugh at us! When they can write in better English than we can, it makes us look like a bunch of jackasses! It is time to take our language back from the hands of Internet stupidity, and once again write with fluency and pride!

NOTE: The author of this text is a human, not a hypocrite. He claims to have done a thorough job in checking his own work, but he is fallible (and we are working on that). If at any time a mistake is noticed, please inform him. He will either correct it or he won't, largely depending on his mood.
Okay, I don稚 want a whole bunch of stupid comments on this, so let me be clear: I知 not trying to offend anybody. I realize that not everybody speaks English, and I知 not asking everyone to learn. I知 learning Spanish right now, so I know how hard it is to learn another language.

This largely for all of the idiots out there who submit work into literature without proof-reading, or for those who leave poorly-worded comments.

EDIT: Yes, I may add more as they come to me. Due to sheer volume, I'm afraid I won't be able to thank everyone personally for adding this to their favorites or collections, so thank you in advance!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsweetkiranz:
SweetKiraNZ Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2014
I agree people should use correct spelling and punctuation if they can. But some of my keyboard key's like 'G' 'H" 'backspace' and " ' " did not work. Until I got a new keyboard. People thought I was just being lazy. 
Reply
:iconphilosophy-fox:
Philosophy-Fox Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Haha; 'Lets eat Mom!'. It never gets old, I must say. Anyways, great guide, it was certainly humorous to read, as well as quite true in the sense that many 'smart' Americans choose to speak the way that people like me, or you, hate. Nevertheless, insulting scripts are some of the best.
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2012
Thanks! Glad you liked it.
Reply
:iconlobika:
LOBIKA Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
NEED IT *
Reply
:iconlobika:
LOBIKA Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
WELL THAT"S REALLY HELPFUL, "REALLY" I MAY NEEDED LATER
Reply
:iconkaiju-popsicle:
Kaiju-popsicle Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2011  Student General Artist
Perfect Grammar is my favorite thing in the world, besides Pocky and Nutella(and Transformers, but we are not going there right now), especially when coupled with a vast and sophisticed vocabulary. You know what's even better?! Every word is spelled correctly. I applaud you, good sir!
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2011
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.
Reply
:iconyereton:
Yereton Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This is better than any literature I've read today. I've only read two today, but that's beside the point :P. I'm totally favouriting this!

P.S: Is favouriting a word? My spell check doesn't think so. :shrug:
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2011
Thanks! I don't think favouriting is a word, but since this is deviantArt, I think it's just fine.
Reply
:iconmechwarrior3:
mechwarrior3 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This is fantastic! Thank you for putting this up. :D
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2011
You're welcome! Glad you liked it!
Reply
:iconrenaiphil:
RenaiPhil Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2011
AWESOME!!!!11 i luv it!

Sorry. I couldn't resist. All very good points, and very well taken. It's unfortunate that many of the people who need to read this won't. But I'll put it as a favourite anyway. (please note, I added the 'u' because of the button, not because I don't speak or write American). And please read my sig. :)
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2011
That's great; I've never seen anything quite like it. Glad you enjoyed my ranting!
Reply
:iconazeeratheninja:
AzeeraTheNinja Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011  Student Interface Designer
Thank you so much for writing this, I agree with every aspect you covered here.
Even in actual literature I see these mistakes, especially number 12, when I critique literature it's always those commas that make me sort of irritated since I'm not sure what they ever mean. :facepalm:

Thanks again for posting this. =)
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011
You're very welcome. I'm glad you liked it!
Reply
:iconheartofthetardis:
HeartoftheTARDIS Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011
This is utterly brilliant and you were close on brain farts of a 12 year old (I am 14)
It pisses me off on how people just go around making us ALL look like total idiots and I seriously hope that the whole deviantART community sees this.

I bow to you :worship:
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
Reply
:iconheartofthetardis:
HeartoftheTARDIS Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2011
Thanks for being intelligent enough to write it :D
Reply
:iconanimatefox:
Animatefox Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
"random brain farts of a twelve year old girl."
The sad thing is I am a twelve year old girl. XD
But this makes a lot of scene and I hope a lot of people see this.
*favorites.*
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
Reply
:icongummi-chemist:
gummi-chemist Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2011  Student General Artist
Hmm... Do you think you could edit the literature in my gallery? Only the series (called "Unpredictability") though, please. My main goal this year is to improve my grammar and literature skills, and to choose words more carefully to properly express the emotion that is being shown in my writing. It is up to you, but if you choose to do so, I must warn you that my series is mainly a lot of fantasy and fan-fiction, so sorry if that kind of writing annoys you.
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2011
Sure, I'll take a look at it. There's a book you can get that will help you tremendously. It's called "The Elements of Style" by Strung & White. It's a short book with a lot of rules for grammar and style. It's great for re-learning the basic rules of grammar.

But anyway, yes, I'll gladly take a look at your work for you. It'll be a few days before I can start, but I'll get it done.
Reply
:icongummi-chemist:
gummi-chemist Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2011  Student General Artist
Thank you very much, I highly appreciate it. I'll take my time to check out my town's public library for that book someday, thanks for recommending it. I don't mind about how much time it will take you to edit my series, you can take as long as you'd like. :)
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:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011
I've sent you a note with the edited piece. Hope it helps!
Reply
:icongummi-chemist:
gummi-chemist Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011  Student General Artist
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconloza-muse:
Loza-Muse Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This is ... something. I'm sorry when I read grand all i could think of was some one with a British accent. I could truly annoy the hell out of you and make you drink... but then I wouldn't want you in an accident would I? Anyway, I must ask, where you once a young teen who never paid attention to grammar because the truth in, the human brain doesn't necessarily read the whole word.
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011
*were, *? *truth is (and others I'm too lazy to point out), lol. And no, I always tried to pay close attention to the structure of what I was writing. Grammar Nazi for life, I guess. I know that the brain sees the word as a whole, not by its individual parts. The crux of the matter is that the first and last letter must be in the correct positions...and half the time they're either not, or they're the wrong letters to begin with.
Reply
:iconloza-muse:
Loza-Muse Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Sorry, my grammar is really said, once in a story I wrote whale instead of wail and in another I wrote furry instead of fury ... so it became a flare of furry.... oops
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011
lol, "flare of furry." Freudian slips can be so much fun.
Reply
:iconloza-muse:
Loza-Muse Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
but the whale was sad because it was a sad deep story. If you read this [link] you'll understand what I mean...
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011
Yeah, I see what you mean. I'd be happy to edit it for you, if you'd like. I'm usually pretty good at it (I spend about twice as long editing my work than I do writing it.)
Reply
:iconloza-muse:
Loza-Muse Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
lol :P um i dont mind i guess
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011
Question: Is it supposed to be in the present tense, or the past tense? Ex.:"I sat in the basement on the concreted floor." or "I sit in the basement on the concreted floor."
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmadamemia:
MadameMia Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2011
Amen!
Reply
:iconjellybean44:
Jellybean44 Featured By Owner May 25, 2011
I feel the same everyday at my school,but maybe it's normal when you're 16... and I'm really sad when I can't express what I want the way I want,because I'm italian and I'm still studying English,and sometimes words are so difficult to find:sniff:
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:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner May 25, 2011
Yeah, studying other languages is difficult...I just barely passed my Spanish class this year.
Reply
:iconjellybean44:
Jellybean44 Featured By Owner May 26, 2011
At my school,in English hours it's impossible to hear anything because of all my classmates that bother the teacher,so she gets mad at us and we get lots of surprises test...basically,I'm learning English by myself...
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:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner May 27, 2011
Oh, that's no fun...
Reply
:iconmy-dear-bianca:
My-Dear-Bianca Featured By Owner May 24, 2011
I'm so happy. I'm not one of those people who overuse their acronyms, and I'm also one of the few who writes in complete sentences.
:+favlove:
Even if English isn't my first language, I made it clear that I will help this illiterate world by being literate.

We are the unsung heroes!!!:salute:
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner May 24, 2011
We are indeed! :salute:
Reply
:iconyippieyayeeh:
YippieYaYeeh Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Haha, I always say ''your'' instead of ''you're''. ^^; I am kind of bad in grammar. I just learned something.

When I am done typing I always check if I make any mistakes or not. :XD:
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
That's the best way to do it. :D
Reply
:icondarthvader95722:
darthvader95722 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011  Student General Artist
brain farts...genious...pure genious!
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011
:bow:
Reply
:icondarthvader95722:
darthvader95722 Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2011  Student General Artist
lol, i like the new icon dude
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2011
thanks. i got it from ~Xeno-striker. he's got an xbox 360 one, too. all free for use.
Reply
:icondarthvader95722:
darthvader95722 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2011  Student General Artist
ah...i like xbox...
Reply
:iconsnapdragonanime101:
snapdragonanime101 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Beautiful. Simply beautiful. My own grammar slips from time to time.
Reply
:iconravenrunner:
ravenrunner Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2011
Thank you! Glad that you liked it!
Reply
:icontamkittyxyz:
tamkittyxyz Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011
...Why is this in a fanclub for Miku Hatsune? xD
That's a bit odd. Oh well, I love this
Reply
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